Thursday, January 21, 2010

holding on

"Think of all the wonderful things He has done for you."
1 Samuel 12:24b (NLT)

My eyes are so swollen from crying all day that I can hardly see. My heart is grieving and I'm feeling really, really disappointed.

As I shared yesterday, God has been working overtime on behalf of our family. His blessings and miracles are almost too good to be true. Funny how quickly a phone call can make my human mind forget His goodness and grace.

You see, we were just shy of a week away from finally traveling to Ethiopia to meet Mesfin. And then our agency called with some really bad news.

Although he finally arrived at the care center, he was a day too late. The US Embassy requires that children's passport photos are submitted two full weeks before their appointment. And, because of the holiday, he wasn't able to have his photos taken. Sigh.

I realize that two weeks doesn't seem like a long time, but it is when you promised your son that you would be there soon. And you can't. My momma's heart is breaking in two. He's been through so much and this wait has been excruciating for all of us, but especially him.

We have travel plans that need updating and a whole list of other details to undo and redo. That I can handle. It's the not being where we said we would be that makes me so sad.

And yet, we trust God and His timing and remember all that He has done so far for us.

We know that this unexpected delay is a part of His plans for us. This is happening for a reason and He will see us through. We know that once we are on the other side of this seemingly huge mountain, the fourteen extra days will seem like nothing. But, today it hurts. Today I'm crying and I can't stop.

But, in the midst of that, God is showing His incredible love for me and my family through the beautiful friends He has filled our lives with. I have received so many sweet emails and phone calls. God cares about our sadness and He's using our friends to love and support us through yet another bump.

This journey we are on has been more than we could ever have imagined. While doubts and fears try to steal my peace and joy, God is refusing to allow me to doubt His love for me and His goodness. His love through others keeps me holding onto the truth of His promises.

My heart grieves and the tears flow, but God is good, all the time. He'll get us through this, I know He will. And, He'll get you through whatever struggle or bump you're facing in your own life, my Friend.

His love conquers all. Keep seeking Him and allow His love to wash away your pain and tears.

God's grace is sufficient for today - and because of that - I am LIVING A BLESSED LIFE! (Tears and all.)

Seeking His face,

Photograph courtesy of Chelsea Lauren


Denise @ A Sacred Longing said...

What a roller coaster ride this has been! I am so sorry that this delay has happened. May your sweet Mesfin feel peace in the wait. May he know that he is loved and wanted so much. May this delay pass quicker than a blink of an eye.

Soon, very soon...

Andrea said...

:o( Oh momma, I am so sorry you are sad. What a blow. Still here praying!

Girly Girl Mommy said...

Dear Amy, You are such a strong woman and mom. Continue to hang on through this latest bump in your journey- hopefully the last bump before he is home. God is fully in control and must want you there 14 days later. So sorry your heart is sad. I'll be praying for you and Mesfin. Psalm 55:22

KT said...

oh Friend. I can understand your tears and your hurting heart while you still trust our God and his timing. Praying. Isn't it so great to know our Father can handle our rejoicing one day and our tears of sadness the next?Praying for all of your hearts to rest in His peace. Praying He uses this unexpected extra time for His glory and to prepare each of you.

Jennifer said...

been praying for you... I'm so, so sorry.

Chantelle said...

been there - and oh how painful 2 extra weeks indeed is! (((hug)))

Girly Girl Mommy said...

Just checking in on you and wanting to let you know that you are on my mind and in my prayers.

Charris said...

So Sorry you have to go through this. Remember when the lord allows a delay, the reward is much sweeter. Both your Mesfin and your family will be a blessing to each other. Hang in there and keep the faith. I pray the lord keeps Mesfin and your spirits high.

Andy and Wendy Ingram said...

I have been praying for you since reading this blog, just was not sure what to say. Keep your gaze on God-his time is going to be perfect because He is all-knowing and will be all-sufficient for Mesfin and your family while you wait. I can't imagine how difficult this would be as you wait. I will keep praying and hoping!