Wednesday, September 16, 2009

refinement

"See, I have refined you, though not as silver;
I have tested you in the furnace of affliction."
Isaiah 48:10 (NIV)

God is amazing at answering my prayers. Lately, I have been so frustrated by my sin that I have been begging God to heal me, change me, transform me and deliver me. I asked Him to leave no stone left unturned and no dark place hidden.

I plead with Him to go deep. I stood before Him and surrendered myself 100% to Him. Seriously.

Some would say that's a crazy woman's prayer because God will indeed answer.

And He has. Oh my.

For the past week, I have been in God's furnace of refinement. It has been so intense. And yet, as uncomfortable as it is, I refuse to tell Him to stop. He's placed a desire in my heart to be holy and to be able to fully enjoy all of the blessings He has bestowed upon me.

My sins? Well, they are just slowing me down, stealing my joy and blocking my blessings.

I'm sick of it! I'm ready to let go of everything that is bogging me down. God has a better life for me, and I want it. He's been patient with me long enough.

And so, I opened the door and asked Him to do whatever is necessary.

The result is that every single moment of my day is under God's great illumination. I feel like I'm both under a microscope and looking at my self through the lens. I see the struggles I have with impatience, control, procrastination and pride.

It feels like God has slowed down time and allowed me to see every detail of my life and flesh with clearer vision. And some of what I see, I honestly don't like.

He's been calling me to die to myself. When I am teaching my kids, talking with my husband or simply thinking thoughts in my head, He is raising the standard of holiness and challenging me to choose a different path. A new path. A more challenging path.

It's so very hard, but so good. I know it. Letting my own desires go, putting others first and pressing deeper into the Lord are all so worth the sacrifice.

God is so faithful. While these days have been long and hard, I have no desire to quite or run away. That hasn't always been the case for me. God is good.

Friend, if God is shining His light in your life and heart, I encourage you to not be afraid to look. I pray that God will give us both the courage and desire to do whatever it takes to enjoy the freedom His Son died to give us.

The gift is free. The gift is good. The Gift loves us with a fierce devotion and allows us to be LIVING A BLESSED LIFE

***By the way, my energy tank is running really low. I pray that my thoughts are coming across clearly and making sense! If not, please bear with me while I adjust to this new season I'm in. (Grin.)***

Refined through His grace and love,

5 comments:

ellie said...

ooooooohhhhhhh - yep, a crazy woman's prayer! I am not currently as brave . . . . I'm in that 'feeling pretty thankful for GRACE!' stage :) As we say in Australia: "Good on ye mate!"

Hugs :) ellie

Tonya said...

Oh, God is doing the same thing to me, sister. It isn't pretty, and he is speaking through my children in some of it. OUCH!! Thanks for being so transparent. I love reading your blog daily!

Love you,
Tonya

Andrea said...

Amazing what He reveals when we ask Him too huh? Thank you for being transparent.... feeling quite a bit of refinement here too! Prayers for you sister.
Andrea

Jennifer said...

Convicting. Encouraging. What a blessing to read that.

Thank you for honestly sharing what God is doing in your life right now. I'm praying a more timid version of that these days. :) Why is it that sometimes it's so hard to put in to action all that you know to be true? Praise God that He is so patient with us!

Anne L.B. said...

I am sighing with joy at your prayer, Amy. I've no doubt that Your Father is rejoicing over you and is oh so pleased to answer your prayer in a way which will bless you like you can't yet imagine. Keep it up!