Thursday, August 20, 2009

unlovely


"He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
Psalm 103:9—12

It's the end of a very long day and I am feeling incredibly unlovely. Not just on the outside, but on the inside.

It was one of those days where I had far too much to get done and woke up feeling overwhelmed. My first mistake was when I got distracted after only a few minutes into my quiet time. That's never good.

Oh, Friend. It was not a pretty day. I got lots of planning for our new school year completed. I'd like to say that made it a great day. The problem, however, is that somehow frustration, impatience, unkindness and over-reaction also added themselves to my list of completed work. Sigh.

I accomplished so much today, I wish I could feel good about all of the hard work I put in. But I can't. Instead, I have a horrible feeling in my stomach reminding me of all of the opportunities I missed.

If I had just been able to stop long enough to seek God's wisdom and direction, His grace would have empowered me to be loving, patient, kind, responsive, joyful and get lots of work done.

Of course I apologized to each of the people I offended—God, my patient husband, Chelsea, Liam, and Sara. Oh, and the boy next door. Ouch. And they each forgave me.

My flesh wants to assure you that my offenses really weren't that bad. I actually held back from saying and doing some of the things I wanted to. Restraint is good, right?

The reality, however, is what my heart is saying to me—what God's Spirit is gently and lovingly convicting me about. I messed up. I allowed my flesh to drive today and that resulted in far too many hit and runs. Another sigh.

If God allows my family another day together, I will be blessed to receive His new mercies again in the morning. Without a doubt, my beautiful family will have already forgotten all of my mistakes of today. Rather than holding my offenses over my head, they will instead offer me their amazing unconditional love.

It's a fact they have proven to me over and over again. It's an priceless gift I have been the humbled recipient of for twenty years now. On a daily basis they practice God's gift of mercy and grace. Their love heals my heart at such a deep level, that at times it actually leaves me speechless. (Yes, that is possible. At times.)

I am a very blessed woman because of the gracious family my Father has given me. Which, on days like today, is why I feel so very crummy about the way I acted. My spirit is convicted by their love. They inspire me to keep starting over whenever I have a day like today.

Thankfully, God allows me to learn from my mistakes and catch them sooner, rather than later—most of the time.

"Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit." Psalm 32:2 (NIV)

Friend, how I hope your day was nothing like mine. If it was, however, I pray that you too are able to share in God's amazing grace. He loves YOU. Unconditionally.

Tonight I am repenting and receiving God's forgiveness—having learned another lesson the hard way. Tomorrow? Well, that's a new day!

My plan is to not allow myself to become distracted from spending some serious time focused in prayer, study and worship. I'll write up my to-do list and then I will surrender it to my Creator and allow Him to drive my day.

My flesh? Well, that is going to have to take the backseat—most likely strapped down in a car seat with a 5-point harness!

I'm thankful tonight that God is able to take my unlovely self and forgive, restore, and transform me and allow me to continue LIVING A BLESSED LIFE!

He is SO good,


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you blog and God has been using your messages to encourage me in a big way, but I haven't been able to read the last 2 posts. The flower background is completely masking the words. Hopefully you can fix this, just want you to be aware.

Kathy

Wendy @ All in a Day's Thought said...

I had exactly one of those days yesterday. Woke up ready to bark. Thank God for His forgiveness...I needed/need it!
~ Wendy

HisFireFly said...

This was perfect for me today Amy, thank you!

I have also been overwhelmed with things to be done and have made the mistake of trying to drive instead of surrendering the wheel to my Lord.

How great is His love and mercy that He gives us unlimited opportunities to learn and make better choices!

HisFireFly said...

This was perfect for me today Amy, thank you!

I have also been overwhelmed with things to be done and have made the mistake of trying to drive instead of surrendering the wheel to my Lord.

How great is His love and mercy that He gives us unlimited opportunities to learn and make better choices!

Amy Jo said...

Hi Kathy!

Thanks so much for your comment. I'm so glad that God is blessing you through my blog.

I'm not sure what's going on with my blog. I'm able to see it clearly on my computer, and other people are as well??? I wish I had a good answer for you. One option may be to subscribe via email. There's a place on the sidebar to do so. Hope that helps!

Sweet blessings,
Amy