Wednesday, January 7, 2009

abundantly blessed

This morning I woke up with a deep pain in my heart and a need to love on my kids as much as possible.

Before I went to bed last night, I read "Facing the Lion: The Ethiopian Famine" by Michelle Gardner. She runs two incredible ministries (Kingdom Kids Adoption Ministries and The African Widows and Orphans Project.) For those of you in the adoption world, you have most likely been blessed by one or both of her books (Adoption as a Ministry, Adoption as a Blessing and After the Dream Comes True.)

Anyhow, I read Michelle's personal account of her recent trip to Ethiopia and began to feel God doing an even deeper work within my heart. For the past few years, my prayer has been that God would give me a heart like His and eyes to see the world the way He does. Wow. He has most definitely been answering my prayer.

I can't imagine having to choose between giving up one or all of my children to an orphanage or watch them die from poverty or disease.

I can't imagine my children foraging through garbage cans looking for food.

I can't imagine the strength and love it must take a woman to walk away from her child, knowing that in doing so she may never see them again in this lifetime.

Even more important, I can't imagine knowing these are the realities that countless mothers face daily and then turn a blind eye.

I can't solve all of the world's problems, nor does God expect me to.

But, I can allow Him to remove the blinders from my eyes and allow my heart to be broken along with His.

I can be grateful that I have a refrigerator, two freezers and pantry stocked full of food.

I can be grateful for the opportunity to refill my daughter's cup with fresh, cold water.

I can be grateful for the ability to drive to my doctor's office and get a prescription for something as simple as a sinus infection.

I can be grateful for the stacks of freshly washed clothing I just folded that are waiting for me to put them away.

I can be grateful for the hot baths and showers all five of us took today.

The list goes on and on. I am abundantly blessed, but not just with "things."

I am blessed that I have a God who loved me even when I saw these things and chose to look away.

I'm thankful that He forgives me for my complacency and selfishness.

I'm thankful that He is patient in waiting for me to wake up and choose to live fully alive (acknowledging the suffering, rejoicing in the blessings and choosing to be a part of His solutions.)

Today, I am also grateful for an amazing group of women who understand my heart and encourage me to act upon the convictions God is working within me.

Today, more than ever, I am humbled and thankful to be LIVING A BLESSED LIFE.

2 comments:

claire t said...

ok lady, will i be in tears through out this adventure?

off to get some tissues and chocolate.

lub you,
claire

strandfam said...

Beautiful Amy and so so true! You have such a way of sharing what God is doing in your heart. Your heart for Him blesses me! Love you and rejoicing with you in all that God is doing! His love is AMAZING!!