Thursday, November 6, 2008

pride

I started working on my first Priscilla Shirer Bible study called He Speaks To Me. It's really a good study. Today I was reading about pride. Priscilla wrote that she felt almost all relationship struggles are rooted in pride. The pride in me immediately wanted to disagree with that comment, (grin), which told me that perhaps there was something there that God wanted me to look at.

You see, the past few months have been a definite struggle between my ten-year-old daughter an myself. Granted there are hormones that are getting triggered for both of us, so that makes things even more sticky. However, I realized after finishing the chapter today, that if I really find it a challenge NOT to argue with a child, that perhaps there's something more than hormones going on!

Ouch. Really, I know that Chels and I are entering into a new season in our relationship and that change can be both good and hard. That said, I've really been struggling with letting her simply speak her mind and share her heart without getting caught up in her emotions. I find myself easily reverting back to a ten-year-old (or younger!) myself, and that's just not good.

So, the prickly "p-word" popped up and had my full attention.

"Lord? Is it pride that I'm struggling with? Because this person I turn into is not who I want to be. My heart wants to love my girl and be able to listen to her without getting frustrated and feel a need to correct her at every turn. Lord, whatever is getting triggered for me, please, please, PLEASE heal it so that I can move on in my relationship with Chelsea. Help me to be the adult in our relationship. Help me to honor her with my words, but especially with my attitude. Lord, please change me. I need you and I can't do this without you."

I love how gentle the Lord is when He corrects me. The light bulb of truth turns on and all of the confusion, guilt and frustration are quickly stripped away. Hope begins to blossom in my heart and I finally realize that all of my struggling was simply wasted time. He never expected or asked me to go it alone. And never did He leave me alone. But He did wait. Patiently. And thankfully, He allowed the temperature of the situation to rise so that He was able to attract my attention. When the Lord convicts, He also equips. His conviction is always founded upon His love for me and His desire to teach, heal and transform me.

So, in this new season of parenting, I'll be surrendering myself in a new way to the Gardener. I'm choosing to allow Him to uproot the nasty weeds of pride and bring a fresh harvest of peace, joy and patience. I can't wait to see what other surprises He has in mind for me.

What kind of season are you in? Is it a season of rest, trial, joy or strife? Whatever it is, know you are not alone in the process. Your Creator is right there with you and He will give you exactly what you need at just the right time.

Praying today that you are filled with His love and are LIVING A BLESSED LIFE!

By the way, you'll notice that my background is back! Turned out it wasn't a security issue in China after all (hee hee). Miss Emily needed to make room for all of those amazing pictures she took of her sweet little sisters and amazing family. Welcome home, Horners! And, thanks Emily for being so quick in repairing my blog! What a blessing you are!

Praying for increased humility,

1 comment:

Emily Makes Six said...

You are the most amazing mommy that I know. Your tenderness to your children and your willingness to allow God to refine you THROUGH your relationships with them inspires me. Thank you for allowing me the honor and blessing of knowing you and being the recipent of inspiration through God's "gardening" in your life. I pray that God will cultivate such a beautiful bond with Chelsea that will only grow more exquisite through the tests of time. I LOVE YOU!